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Table 5 Comparison of a section of Wes’ rough and final draft

From: Using the Appraisal framework to analyze source use in essays: a case study of engagement and dialogism in two undergraduate students’ writing

Rough draft: Ambiguous endorsement, bare assertions Final draft: Dialogic voicing, endorsement cues
To identify bullying early, one of the better ways to do it is to identify who is at risk of bullying others or being bullied. Children who have a higher chance to be picked on including those with low self-esteem, less popular among peers or consider ‘different’ among their peers such as overweight ( stopbullying.gov ). Kids that are more likely to become bullies are often possessive, aggressive or have low self-esteem ( stopbullying.gov ). Other ways to spot bullying is to pay attention to warning signs that show possible bullying ( stopbullying.gov ). Children with unexplained injuries, damaged personal properties or declining grades are good signs that hint they are targeted ( stopbullying.gov ). Kids with unexplained extra properties or are increasingly aggressive are signs that show kids are bullying others ( stopbullying.gov ). With some of the above tips, teachers are more capable to detect any bullying. To identify bullying early, one of the better ways to do it is to identify who is at risk of bullying others or being bullied. According to stopbullying.gov , children who are more likely to become bullies or victims usually possess some characteristics. Children who have a higher chance to be picked on including those with low self-esteem, less popular among peers or consider ‘different’ among their peers such as overweight. a Kids that are more likely to become bullies are often possessive, aggressive or have low self-esteem ( stopbullying.gov ).Another way to spot bullying is to pay attention to warning signs that show possible bullying as suggested in stopbullying.gov . Children with unexplained injuries, damaged personal properties or declining grades are good signs that hint they are targeted.a Kids with unexplained extra properties or are increasingly aggressive are signs that show kids are bullying others ( stopbullying.gov ). With some of the above tips, teachers are more capable to detect any bullying. Moreover, schools should encourage parents to follow the above tips to pay closer attention to their children. If there are any possible signs that the parents noticed which are overlooked by the teachers, parents should contact schools for help.
  1. aindicates removal of end of text citation; bold = emphasized text italics = added opinion